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Spring ‘98 expectations
 
In Sp’98, good things happen and bad things happen. AUC appoints a new president, who declares that AUC should remain forever a liberal arts, non profit, and research enhancing institution, hence the tuition increases. Construction gets more faster in the new campuses in Falaki, and New Cairo. The Board of Trustees declares bankruptcy, thus the tuition increases.
  A good professor leaves AUC, a bad professor gets a tenure, and AUC decides to give up using part-time faculty because they are cheap, thus the tuition increases. The University declares a five year plan to end the GPA inflation and grade negotiation, thus the tuition increases. Tough graders increase, and easy graders decrease, more professor give up using the Curve system thus the tuition increases.


 AUC keeps on suffering from its non-ending problem: the cats. The new president forms a committee consists of three professors and a student representative, AUC cafeteria representative, and Cats’ representative to discuss that problem. The committee ends its mission with a recommendation that AUC should build a Hostel for the cats in the new campus, in addition to a cafeteria with at least 15 different types of fish sandwiches. A new club called CFC (Cats Friendship Club) is established. The club starts actively by collecting donations and making booths. The motto of the campaign calls for the establishment of an Intensive care unit in Qasr Al-Aini hospital.


   The University senate approves 4 proposal, and rejects 400 proposal. A new tuition policy will be applied retroactively that all the students have to pay the same tuition. students get mad, and riots start, then the administration declares that any student who refuses to pay will be put under Financial probation.
  Then another tabloid publishes an article about AUC. The University and the SU decide to sue the newspaper, however they got struck with the  question of: who will pay?. Then the president says:" This is a tabloid. We will not ask them to write an apology in order not to increase their circulation. Our lawyers will take the whole case. "  Finally, AUC decides to avoid the case.


  A new elections happens for the SJB and the SU president. The new SJB freezes three clubs in its first week to prove that it is better than the previous SJB. One of these clubs invented a way to collect money for  drug addicts by organizing a party in a Ghorza (place for drug-addicts to meet and smoke). One of the students who attended the party crashes with car, whose driver was under the effect of a high dose of Marijuana.


  The AUC gets more foreign students after overcoming the side effects of Luxor’s massacre, however this does not appeal to the US embassy, which send another Email to all the Email users warning them that Egypt has became Algeria II. Two American students return back to the states, and three are considering this. The Dean of Students organizes a seminar for the American students, where the Director of Safety gives a lecture about how to wear the gas mask in seven seconds, and the procedures that should be followed in the times of  raids. AUC decides to increase the amount of insurance on students, thus the tuition increases.
  More AUCians die. Every Caravan issues carries a photo for an AUCian who dies in a car accident.


  The admissions level decreases and more rich dumb students join  AUC. AUC gets more crammed with students, thus the tuition increases. The Platform gets more crowded with the students, thus every stair in AUC will be categorized as platformated area.
  Finally, the problem of AUC identity remains unsolved. The students continue wondering whether what they learn suits their culture and traditions or not. They think whether they represent the Egyptian Eastern conservative paradigm, or the American Western liberal paradigm. The problem is even deeper because it is more concerned with the logic that the student could use to judge any situation. As a result, a CS student develops a logic software that can help solve this problem, whenever it happens. And Allah only knows what will really happen. But one thing remains certain: the tuition increases.
Moataz Attallah
Engineering Sophomore



Published in the Student Union newsletter "Take off" (not your clothes!!). Spring 1998
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