Alien in the Faucet
It started in that damned day. I woke up in the morning on the infantile
voice of my daughter, saying: "Dad, the water is yellowish." Perhaps this
might not sound as a problem. Accidentally, I decided to behave as
any rational father, and I told her: "Do not worry, honey. There might
be some problem with the water pipe. Perhaps it is rusty, and I will fix
it before you return from your school."
Definitely, that was a conspiracy against me. That day
was one of the very few days in which I was able to not to go to the factory.
It was the time for the half-annual maintenance, and we-industrial engineers-usually
take it as a holiday because all operations are stopped during this very
Behaving like an engineer, I decided to follow what they
term the engineering method of thinking; starting from identifying the
problem, then collecting data, and finally proposing a solution.
I started by defining the problem; the problem is that my daughter was
not able to wash her face. I considered it a serious problem that requires
a fast reaction; little Dina might have some problems with reading the
poor handwriting of her teacher from the blackboard. I ended that stage
safely by reaching to the origin of the problem; the water was dirty.
Unfortunately, I had no time or equipment to carry out the data collection
step. I thought of analyzing the water to know exactly that polluting element
that made the color go yellow. I found out that I was the only person in
the whole street who was suffering of the yellow water problem, while the
neighbors had no problem with their water. It seemed to me that I am getting
closer to the solution. I thought it was rust. So I searched for the main
faucet that supplies my villa. At that moment, suspense really started.
With a quick look, it seemed to me that the faucet is
all right, and there is no rust at all. I got a wrench and I opened the
pipe to check whether the water here is also yellow or not. I thought that
there might be some problem with the inner surface of the pipe. I had a
feeling that it was really the time to apply the cathode protection method
that we learnt about in the collage to protect pipes from corrosion.
Take a deep breath, and read the following. My finger
touched a wet jelly like stuff. I got a deep wide long high alarming feeling
of disgust. My mind went into the place it should go to that I put my finger
in a sewage pipe. I had a powerful desire to cut my finger the instant
I would pull it out from the tube. However, when I pulled it out, I found
nothing stuck to my finger, opposing to all the theories and practical
visions I had about the physical properties of that material.
You should be feeling the way I felt; you might feel this
when you had a strong feeling then it suddenly vanishes. I took a sigh
of relief; and started analyzing the situation in the other direction.
Since there was nothing on my finger, then this might be any other thing
that was carried by the water stream, and it found itself in my pipe, hindering
water and causing that pollution. I had an experience with that things
that move with water till it reaches houses because we had once in our
dadís house a frog in the toilet!!
Anyway, I decided to pull out that thing. This time I
was cautious, so I wore a plastic glove and started pulling. Suddenly,
a cloud of yellow smoke came out of the tube. The smell of the smoke was
intolerable, and it reminded me with sulfur dioxide. Sulfur dioxide is
termed as the "Suffocating gas," that what I was told in the college. However,
no body told me that fact-the cowards- before I took a deep sniff of pure
fresh instantly prepared sulfur dioxide in the chemistry lab. I remember
that I fell on the bench, with pains in my chest and fire in my nose,
and a feeling of two hot bullets that entered through my two nostrils (one
per each) to my two cerebral hemispheres, causing a feeling of temporary
blindness, followed by unconsciousness. Afterwards, I had its smell registered
in my mind for months, and I developed some kind of phobia of chemistry
department and its labs for two semesters.
Afterwards, the scenario went as follows. Just before
starting unconsciousness, I saw a yellow creature-so to speak-an alien.
I know them. I have seen them before in ET, X-files, independence day,
star wars, and star track. It had unidentified dimensions-ameba like-coming
out of the pipe. It seemed to me that I was watching one of these science
fiction movies, but it was true. Finally, darkness prevailed.
To assure you all, I did not wake up to look at the alarm,
and to find out that I was dreaming. Actually, dream started at that moment,
or frankly the nightmare. It was a conversation between that creature and
me. I cannot judge the language we were talking in, but we understood each
other in spite of the fact that our --not our, mine only-mouth was not
moving. I discovered herein that the X-files theory about telepathy was
The Alien was talking. It defined itself as Wertigel,
not a very nice name for an alien. It came to earth in a space ship that
threw it in the river. It was a researcher in another planet in a neighboring
galaxy, just 3 million light years. Its mission was to make something we
call, as engineers, technical report about the water of planet earth. Their
planet is drying because their two suns were transforming to dark holes.
They wanted any planet with water to live in, because without water they
can not live.
I tried to explain to it that the case was the same for
us. I tried to convince it that we even on the earth suffer from the same
problem. However, he was uncompromising with me, and he showed no understanding
to global warming. It said that after finishing its report, they would
start their invasion to the planet earth. They will destroy everything
related to human beings and humanity with their by far advanced technology.
I woke up, not on my bed as many people might think, but
in the back garden of my villa. The pipe was open in front of me, and the
glove in my hand. Then it was not a dream. I entered the house, trying
to convince myself that it was a dream. I looked at the clock. It was 3:00
PM; time for my daughter and my spouse to come back home.
When little Dina came, she asked me: "Dad, did you fix
the pipe?" I replied: "No honey. I will call a plumber, because I am not
My neighbor, kindly, allowed me to fill some containers of water to
spend the day.
When night came, the idea came to my mind; we should never
allow these primitive amebas like creatures to conquer our planet. If they
wanted to live in our planets, okay but they could use the ponds and sewage
pipes only, and they should leave the rest of the water for us to make
what we want with. But I would not allow them to exterminate us.
I opened the garage at a very late hour, and I took my
oxyacetylene welding machine, and I approached the pipe. I opened it, intending
to use the fire of the machine to make out of that stupid alien another
cloud in the dark night. However, the same scenario was repeated. However,
this time the alien only spoke. It said, nervously: "Your planet is a dirty
filthy polluted planet; I wonder how you live in it. Your water is polluted
to an intolerable extent. We can not live in that water. It is full of
poisons, sewage, micro-organisms, and radiation. Go to hell with your planet;
we do deserve a better planet." I woke up, looked at the sky. I saw a fire
arrow going upwards. Inside it, was a creature with a deep feeling of frustration.
Since that day, I have been thinking about the alienís words. Imagine
that protozoan creature believes that it does deserve a better planet.
Was it right? I am not really sure. But I am definitely sure that I will
consider this fact for a long time, in spite of the fact that it started
only yesterday with that alien in the faucet!!
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